Finding Balance
I am writing to you from a hotel room in central London. I am not here on business. I am here because I need a time out.
While I sit here after a proper night sleep, my husband Ross has been juggling full time work, dropping Jack and Leo off at nursery, cooking dinner, working late nights and settling Arlo at 3am.
It’s difficult when you have so many plates spinning and you know that a time out means “time on” for your other half. My inner voice kicks in “This is not fair on Ross”, “I should get home”. But I also know that over the last few weeks, I have seen small red flags pop up around me, begging me to slow down before it all becomes unmanageable.
So for my sake and my family’s sake, I have decided to take a time out. I went to Paris to meet my nephew and spend time with my sister and I tagged on an extra night in London to reset.
And I know while I am so thankful for this little break, it’s not enough for me to properly recuperate. But the reality is: until our children are a little older, I need to find other ways to re-energise that don’t mean leaving Ross for a few nights.
So it makes me question balance. I have always been fast paced and slotted in a week rest here and there and that has worked for me - until I became a mum. Since, a break has always come with a whole lot of guilt.
So, it’s time I rethink balance. Here are my takeaways:
Notice the red flags. Notice these when they are so small you can hardly see/hear them and slow down in that moment before it’s too late.
Be open about how you are feeling early on. Voicing it allows you to recognise what is happening and do something about it.
Prioritise. You can’t do it all. Choose the bits that are most important and impactful for you. Do those first.
Let go of the need to succeed - as succeeding in one area means failing in another. How liberating is that?
Be kind to yourself. Go with your gut. If going out for a drink with a friend tonight feels like effort, reschedule and explain.
To add to this, I recently attended a workshop about micro-experiences. The key message was: It’s the small things that matter. So here are my thoughts on micro-experiences that positively impact balance: Focus on the small things that bring you joy. For me it’s going to be these:
A bath reading Delicious magazine,
Making a cup of tea when I know I won’t be interrupted and can drink it hot
Protecting my lunch breaks and going for a walk while listening to Diaries of a CEO
Cooking something special for my family while listening to Future Islands.
Take a leaf out of Jack, Leo and Arlo’s book: Roll around on the floor with my children without a care in the world.
Time to put all this into action:
I choose to finish this blog here, as I know I deserve a little rest before it’s time to check out from my hotel. Speak to you soon.